Room To Read

Seth Godin's free ebook "What Matters Now" delighted me with its ingenious compilation of insights and introduced me to Room to Read.  Click the link to read the ebook; you'll love it, especially if you enjoy the style of Godin and Gladwell.  

Room to Read's mission is to change the world change through education.  They know that data shows a correlation between socioeconomic status and the Mother's education level and this makes educating girls supremely important.  Hop over to Room to Read's site and a smile will be brought to your face.  Change is happening one book at a time!  John Wood, founder of Room to Read, wrote the eye opening Leaving Microsoft to Change the World: An Entrepeneur's Odyssey to Change the World and it makes a great follow-up read.  Hooray for kindred spirits!  

Kids On Roof- Uncensored Toys

While falling in love all over again with the Dutch toy maker Kids on Roof I was searching through their website. I have always loved their toys and really what's not to love. Great aesthetics, fabulous concept, and responsible production.  So I was surprised when I saw (I think) a new collection- the Uncensored Toys. And I'm not sure what I think about it. Here they are:

 

"Not meant to shock.......Let kids play war peacefully -as they have been doing for centuries and will do coming centuries..."  I am shocked. And also a little shocked by my shock.  I am so conflicted by these. While on one hand I completely understand the need to allow children to play without limits on that play.  I feel really awkward about providing children with the actual tools for violent play. I mean these are pretty directive. It's not like they are going to be mistaken for a kitchen utensil. I suppose a child who has no concept of war would see these are simply trucks. If we provide these to children aren't we subtly condoning violence or at least glorifying it a bit.
Can children play war peacefully? Is that an oxymoron?

I remember reading once about a group of preschool children who had lived through a violent attack on their school. It was a horrifying day. People were injured, some died. Teachers reported that for months after the attack the children would play, aggressively, the scenario over and over again. But in each go round children would take turns being the victims and the gunman. The outcome changed as well. Sometimes, police would rescue everyone at the school. Other times there were no survivors.  This play most often made the teachers very uncomfortable and they often wanted to stop it. But they as a group realized the importance that the play had on the children's healing. Eventually the children play through this scenario less and less until finally they were done.
Being mindful of the fact that children do need to engage in acting out the scenes that they see, are we helping or hurting when we give them the tools to play aggressively? Is this an American perspective? From the best of my understanding the Netherlands isn't really a war hunger crowd. Are we more touchy in the US about it due to our violent culture? What do you all think?

Starting Small

 I read this book many years ago and it has always stuck with me. The book shares many stories and insights from inspiring school programs throughout the US. It starts off with a tale from a school in Seattle, Washington.  One of my favorite ideas from the entire book is practiced at the Happy Medium School. Here the teacher opens the year by asking the children to paint self- portraits using multicultural paints.  Children are invited to mix the colors to match their skin tones.  Debra (the teacher) tells a new student: "One of the things we decided was that instead of saying we're white, or black, or brown we'd find out exactly what color we are."  Her class rejoices in finding out what color they are exactly and readily share their discovery: "I'm gingerbread" "I'm peach" "I'm terra cotta."
As we are all aware identity is a complex process that we work on well into adulthood. Many studies have shown that infants and young children are aware of racial differences.  They quickly adopt the language and attitudes their culture have towards race.  While creating broad categories  limit the way children see themselves and their peers, pretending the world exists without differences has been found to be dangerous to the psyches of children with multicultural backgrounds.  The genius of Debra and Happy Medium School is that they created an environment that was as specific as we all are. We are all unique and would need more than a blanket label to fully describe us.  What color are you?

Make your voice heard!

In honor of yesterday's celebration of Martin Luther King Jr., we are featuring a kindred spirit who is bold enough to speak her truth.  Ruth Beaglehole is a beacon of light not only for those who have lost their way but also for parents just beginning their journey.  The Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting is based in LA's Echo Park and is changing the lives of children, one family at a time.  Their motto is "raising children with care-raising children to care".  We, at Willie & Henrietta, believe in the power of nonviolent child raising and ascribe to the definition of nonviolence found on CNVEP's website:

"CNVEP does not use the word nonviolent in reaction to violence, but as a word that honors the connection with a child that respects the core dignity of the child as a full and complete human being. Therefore, the right relationship to have with a child is one that is built on respect and kindness towards the core feelings and needs of the child.

Violence, we define to include anything that hurts the heart, mind or body of a child and leads to disconnection and distrust. This includes spanking, bribes, threats, name calling, shaming, manipulation, being untruthful or praise and rewards. This view moves beyond the current legal definition of child abuse and into a responsible more comprehensive understanding of what violence toward children can be.

What every human being needs and yearns for is a deep, loving connection with their parents that is built on unconditional acceptance, affection, appreciation, autonomy and attention. It is the parent’s responsibility to be the child’s emotional coach, guiding them through the world of emotions and core basic needs; creating and building emotional intelligence and setting limits.

Learning the Philosophy and Practice of nonviolent child raising gives us a framework to think about our actions as parents and what our children truly need to thrive as healthy human beings. Envisioning our children as adults gives us clarity and insight into the relationship we need to have with our child to bring forth the traits and qualities we hope for their future."

-The Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting

If this resonates with you, their website will provide you with a wealth of information including a well edited reading list featuring Alfie Kohn, Faber & Mazlish and Daniel Siegel all of whom have guided our work with children.  We all need guides and Ruth Beaglehole is one of the finest.  Dare to dream of a world where all voices are heard no matter how small, we are.

I have a dream...

Hoping you all have a luminous Martin Luther King Jr. day.
May he continue to teach us and move our hearts to action!